Chess, Basketball, and Progress with my Soul

If you follow me on social media at all, you will have noticed that I have recently started getting into chess. I used to play a bit here and there, never very often (and never very well). A few weeks ago my daughter started asking about playing, and that sparked a resurgence in me to play again. Since then, I have played chess nearly every day. I have done chess puzzles, watched chess videos, read chess books, and played chess games online against friends and strangers, all in attempt to get better so that I can play well and so that I can teach my kids to play well.

Several years ago I had a similar experience with a different activity. Basketball. I grew up playing basketball in back yards and on playgrounds, but I was always terrible. I went to Canton City Schools and graduated from McKinley High School, where we won back to back Division I state championships. I was surrounded by great players and I knew I was never going to make a team, so I didn’t really care about playing well. However, when I started working with a group of guys who played all the time, I didn’t want to be the guy who was terrible. I’m too competitive for that. So I decided I needed to get better. Every day on my lunch break I would go shoot free-throws, play around-the-world by myself, shoot from behind the arch, and dribble. Then I tore some workouts out of Men’s Health and would work on things to increase my vertical – because I’m vertically challenged, as well as work on explosive energy, upper body strength, core strength, and speed. I was dedicated. I wanted to be better.

In both cases, it worked. I got better. I have a friend who is much better at chess than me, and he’s told me already in just the last few weeks that I’m growing as a player. The same happened in basketball. A friend of mine who had played with me before I started working on anything hadn’t seen me play in years and then watched a game I was playing in. He was actually amazed — not because of how good I was, but because I wasn’t so absolutely terrible as I used to be.

We know that when we put time into something, we can improve at it. With sports and games, with our jobs, and with all kinds of skills and hobbies, we know that if we repeatedly do it, if we practice often, and if we pursue it intentionally, we will see progress.

Repetition. Practice. Pursuit. Progress.

I was thinking about this earlier today, and it hit me: Why am I so good at enacting this principle with games and sports and hobbies, but I’m so bad at it with my family, my soul, my spirituality?

Why did I find it so easy to spend my entire lunch break shooting free-throws instead of eating, but I find it so hard to give up a lunch break to pray? Why do I find it so easy to jump online and play strangers in chess, but it’s excruciating to play my daughter in Candy Land? Why can I put in the time, do the reps, practice, read, ask questions, make myself uncomfortable, and do it maybe for a raise at work or to get recognition on the field in soccer, but I can’t put the same time in to grow in my relationship with my wife or kids or God?

We can read up on how to be a better manager at work, but when somebody tells us to read the Bible because it will help our lives, we scoff. We know that repetition brings results, but when we’re struggling with anxiety or depression and our friends tell us to pray and to read what the Word of God says about the way God loves us and to repeat it daily, it just seems unbelievable. Or, if we do try it, when we don’t immediately feel better, we give up. Sure, I can read ten leadership books this year and know it’s a process becoming a good leader, but if I can’t read one Bible verse and see my problems disappear, well, it’s just not working for me!

Working out and dieting is uncomfortable, but I know it will bring results, so I do it. (Well, hypothetically I do it. In real life, let’s go out for donuts and coffee!) But if the pastor says something uncomfortable, or if the Bible says to limit or eliminate something in my life, that’s just too far! I can live without carbs – for a while – but I can’t live like that!

The truth is, I’m as bad at this as anybody else. Probably worse than many. But I was just thinking about this this morning. Repetition, Practice, Pursuit, Progress.

Repetition, Practice, Pursuit, Progress.

It is not my life’s ambition to be a great chess player or a great athlete. It isn’t even really my life’s ambition to be a great leader. It is my life’s ambition to be a great husband, a great father, and a man who has a close, real, genuine relationship with God. So this has me thinking: What can I do to get progress in that arena? What do I need to do repeatedly to ensure a close relationship with my children? What do I need to practice on a regular basis to have an ever-growing love and adoration for my wife? What do I need to pursue to have a closeness with God that is unshakeable and undeniable? How do I make progress with my soul?