Is Self Love scriptural?

Self Love

“Self love” is a buzz phrase in our culture right now. You can find more constructive articles and information, like this one, which center around the idea that it isn’t actually constructive to beat ourselves up and harshly judge ourselves. Instead, we should ask ourselves how we would treat a loved one if they were in our shoes, and then we should treat ourselves the same way. There’s a chapter dedicated to this idea in the international best-seller 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos by Dr. Jordan Peterson, titled, “Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping.”

You can also scroll through your Facebook feed and see where this idea has been taken a little off the rails. “Self love,” for some, has changed from an internal realization that none of us are perfect, we are all on a journey, and that’s okay, to an acceptance and active allowance of the less-than-ideal in our lives. What started as a movement to encourage individuals that we are all growing, that we should acknowledge our feelings and not bury them, and that we should love ourselves despite our shortcomings as we try to overcome and become better people has, for some, turned into the idea that we don’t have to change because we are okay just how we are. What started as a healthy way to silence our anxiety and not fall victim to the voices (or perceived voices) of others has, for some, turned into a philosophy where nobody can tell you what’s good for you, because only you know what’s good for you.

For some, self love has actually changed to a form of self indulgence.

Come As You Are

You can see where this mentality has also taken hold in Christianity. You see churches with slogans like, “Come as you are,” or, “No perfect people allowed.”

Again, I think this is actually, at its foundation, a good thing. There’s a recognition that none of us are perfect, that we are all fallen (Romans 3:23). There’s a recognition that we are all on a journey of faith where we are learning and growing, and sometimes failing.

I also think we don’t have to look far to see where this has been taken off the rails. “Come as you are,” for some, has changed from the idea that God loves you just as you are to the idea that there’s no call on your life to change.

What Does The Bible Say?

So, what should we do? Should we dump the “Self love” rhetoric? Should we denounce the “Come as you are” philosophy?

I don’t really think so. For starters, scripture says that Christ died for us while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8). There’s kind of an inherent idea in that which says that God knows we are fallen yet loves us anyways. Christianity isn’t a religion where you get your act together and earn your way to God. It is a belief that God made a way for us to come to Him because we could never earn it anyways. We can, actually, come as we are.

The apostle Paul also reveals that there is a journey involved. In Romans 7 there’s a solid chunk where he talks about his own inability to do what he wants to do, and his tendency to do those things (he actually calls them evil things) he doesn’t want to do. So, if you’ve ever been in a place where you feel like you should be doing better, it isn’t just you. We’ve all been there. Even the author of the majority of the New Testament. (Does this sound like “Self Love” yet?)

However, Paul also tells us in Romans 6 that we have no excuse to stay as we are. If we live with Christ, we cannot continue to live in sin. As a Christian, we can understand that God loves us despite our imperfection, that Christ died for us even though God knew we were steeped in sin and living less than perfect lives, and that God’s love for us isn’t based on our  merit or how well we’re currently measuring up, but that He also loves us so much that he wants us at our best and this isn’t it. Scripture comes to mind that speaks of our being made new creations (2 Corinthians 5:17) and the need for the renewal of our minds (Romans 12:2). These indicate that there is a process happening, and we aren’t at the end of it. Scripture also comes to mind that says God is at work changing us (Philippians 1:6) and that we should also be active participants in becoming who He wants us to be (2 Peter 5:1-8).

Don’t Stay As You Are

I don’t believe the takeaway is that it’s wrong to love yourself. If you don’t love yourself, it’s going to be very hard to love others. If you don’t love yourself, I might even say that it’s hard to imagine you believe God loves you. God does love you. He created you as a unique contribution to a beautiful world, and there’s a role here that only you can fill.

The takeaway should be that loving yourself doesn’t just mean accepting yourself where you are now, but it also means striving to become all that you can be. If you are a Christian, you can take hope in the fact that God promises to be with you, and He is active in the process of stripping away the old you that doesn’t measure up and making you new.

I like to say it this way: Come as you are, but don’t stay as you are.

There is no other you on this planet. Nobody with your unique set of strengths and life experience and all the thought processes that go with those. So don’t sell yourself short by accepting the way you are right now as the way you will always be or the way you should always be. Be okay with not being at the finish line, but don’t stop running toward it. Don’t beat yourself up for not being perfect, but don’t accept the lie that you can’t or shouldn’t be better either.

“Therefore… let us lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith…” (Hebrews 12:1-2 HCSB).