Last week I sat and had coffee with a person who told me she was grateful just to be able to be honest with me and not feel like she was being judged or damned for her thoughts and feelings.
I had another conversation with a person who struggles with the idea that her questions and the fact that she doesn’t understand some things when we talk about God somehow changes her standing with God. Does He really accept her? Does she really have faith?
It’s incredible to me that somehow “faith” has come to mean “absence of questions and doubt.” We have people going through life, facing circumstances we couldn’t even imagine. They’re trying to make sense of the world they live in and the God they hear about – a God which, incidentally, can look a lot of different ways depending on the person describing Him. When something doesn’t seem to line up to somebody, their questions are often met with hostility, belittlement, or even scoffing. Instead of understanding and dialogue, or a probing into the nature or cause of their questions, or even an honest, “I’m not sure how to answer that” (which, by the way, I think we’d do very well sometimes to answer with “I don’t know” instead of trying to answer a question we’ve never thought about before), their questions are met with an awkward look, a “why would you ask such a thing?” or worse yet, an answer given in a manner like an adult explaining something really simple to a young child. You almost expect them to give a little pat on the head at the end.
When you’re given a math problem in school, you have to show your work. You have to show on paper how you processed the information and came to your conclusion. For some reason, when somebody tries to do this with their faith, they’re discouraged.
Maybe you’re in this boat. Maybe you’ve heard about a good God who heals, but you’re dealing with a sickness you can’t seem to shake, and you want to know why. Maybe you grew up hearing that God created the world in seven twenty-four hour days and if you believe anything else, you don’t believe in God, but you’ve also seen and read and studied modern cosmology which says the world has been here for millions of years, and you’re just not sure where that puts you. Maybe you’ve heard about a Jesus who says to love your neighbor as yourself and not to judge, but every person you’ve ever encountered who bares the title “Christian” has hated you and judged you because you’re gay, or you have tattoos, or you listen to Nirvana, and the clear disconnect there just boggles your mind. Maybe you’ve grown up believing in a reductionistic, purely material world, but you sense that there’s got to be more going on, there’s got to be a reason for all of this.
No matter what the question is, no matter where your skepticism lies, I’d like to tell you something:Your questions are important. Your skepticism is valuable. Your doubt may very well be divine.
Doubt is our way of saying, “The things around me don’t line up the way I thought they would, and I’d really like to understand why.” And guess what, there’s something really admirable about that. Sometimes we lean too heavily on certainty. Certainty is safe. It’s predictable. Doubt, however, shakes things up. It questions the status quo. It wonders why.
I also believe that when we take the time, and step out with courage, and ask the questions that really exist in our hearts, we can come out on the other side with a more robust understanding of whatever it is we’re asking about. We think skepticism is a weakness. In reality, it can lead to strength.
When I’m talking to people with doubts, there are a few things I always like to tell them after I’ve let them know that there are plenty of people in the boat with them, and that they should absolutely ask the questions they’re asking. I’d like to share them with you.
First, doubt your doubts as much as you doubt everything else. Questioning is important. However, sometimes we can get so caught up in the question and the possible threat it poses to our current understanding of things that we don’t process the fact that our question can be just as fallible as anything else. It can be founded on a false understanding, it can be biased by our upbringing or experiences, it can be based off of an emotional reaction to a Facebook video that’s designed just to make people react. I don’t mean to belittle your doubts, but I do mean you should weigh them with the same measure you’re weighing everything else. They’re fallible too.
Second, do some studying. Look into the topic at hand. When somebody asks me a specific question, I generally give them a place to start reading in the Bible, because when it comes to Christianity, theology, and the character of God, we should start in scripture. Then, I usually give some book suggestions. If you have a real question, putting real time into the answer is how to handle it. Quick answers aren’t usually going to be satisfying for long. Diving into the issue, tearing it apart, and seeing what people have to say who have been studying longer and who have devoted their lives to the topic at hand can help you come out on the other side with a lot more understanding. Not to mention, it will probably affirm to you that there’s a lot more to the issue, hence a lot more reason for your questions, than you initially thought.
Finally, I ‘d like to share a specific Bible verse that has helped me in times of my own doubt and searching. There’s this story in the Bible where a father brings his child to the disciples to be healed. The disciples fail to heal him, so the father brings the child to Jesus and says, “… if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.”
Let’s pick up here in Mark 9:23-24 (HCSB): “Jesus said to him, ‘If you can? Everything is possible to the one who believes.’ Immediately the father of the boy cried out, ‘I do believe! Help my unbelief.’”
I think a lot of us resemble this father. We’re coming to God with doubts, with questions, hoping for healing, but unsure exactly what to expect. There’s something in us that believes maybe there’s an answer, otherwise we wouldn’t be asking the question, but when it boils down to it, what we’re saying is, “Help my unbelief!”
What I love about the story in the Bible is that Jesus’ response is to heal the child. And I believe His response to us is the same. We may come with questions, with doubts, with insecurities, with skepticism. But if we are honestly searching, I believe we will honestly receive help for our unbelief.
There is a place for your questions in your relationship with God. Let’s be honest, He knows what’s going on in our heads and in our hearts anyways, right? So when we open up with the doubts, we’re not taking Him off guard. We’re all on a journey of faith. Where you are now is not where you were five years ago, and in five years you’ll likely be in a very different place than you are today. If that isn’t the case, I’d be more worried about that than anything else. Embrace the journey. Ask the questions. God is big enough to handle it.
If there’s one thing I would add to the few points above, it would be an encouragement to go on the journey with somebody. Don’t go alone. Find some people who have been where you are and have found their way through. Find some people who are living now how you hope to live someday, and then ask them questions. Let them speak into your life. Find people of faith who have gone through hardship and ask them how they did it. That will speak to your questions more than anything else. But whatever you do, don’t be ashamed of wanting to learn more and grow closer to God.
The Endeavor 