Starbursts, M&Ms, and the Differences that Define Us

Do you have a favorite Starburst color? I’ll admit it: I’m pretty apathetic about what color I get in my little snack-sized Starburst two-packs. If I buy a big bag, I don’t pick through and find certain colors. I just eat the first one I pick up. I like them all. For some people, this mode of operation is heretical when it comes to Starburst. I have friends who will open that little two-pack and give the whole thing away because they were both pink. I have friends who will go through the entire bag, pick out their favorite colors, and give the rest away. A few weeks ago I actually ended up with a hardy handful of Starburst from a coworker who did this very thing.

Did you ever think about why this happens so much more with Starburst than it does with other candy, like M&Ms, for instance? You may have friends that say they love the green M&Ms, but they’re not picking the green out and throwing the rest away. Why? Because M&Ms may look different, but they all taste the same. Starburst colors are special because they all taste different. It’s the difference that makes it special. It’s the difference that makes it worth it.

Something I’ve noticed from people of all ages is that a lot of heartache comes from us trying to take an M&M approach to a Starburst life. We approach life like we should be essentially the same as everybody around us. We should be good at the same things. We should be bad at the same things. We should like the same things. We should dislike the same things. Sure, we might have some slight differences in the way we look, but everything besides the shell is monochromatic.

But like I said, it’s the difference that makes it special. It’s the difference that makes it worth it.

It’s the difference that makes you special. It’s the difference that makes you worth it.

What makes a funny person funny? It’s that the rest of us are boring! What makes the organized person organized? It’s that the rest of us can’t find our keys 6 out of 7 days a week! Why are we in awe when we hear somebody who sings spectacularly? Because when some people sing, babies cry! Why are we so captivated by amazing orators? Because we’ve all sat in a lecture or a speech that’s made us fall asleep! Our differences are what make us stand apart. Our differences are what make us unique. And the truth is, our differences are what makes the rest of the world need us.

I don’t need another me. I already have one. And the one I have is usually pretty underwhelming. But without my wife, I would be incomplete. Without my best friends, there would be something missing. Without my mentors, I wouldn’t have the same urgency to grow. Without the people I lead, I wouldn’t have the same urgency to remain consistent and true. I don’t need somebody else just like me. I need somebody just like you.

Eugene Peterson puts it amazingly in his paraphrase of Romans 12:4-6 in The Message:

In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we’re talking about is Christ’s body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn’t amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ’s body, let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren’t.

You and I make up very unique parts of a body. Our differences define us. You stop trying to look like him, or sing like her, or draw like them, or speak like that. I’ll stop trying to play guitar like somebody else, and sing like somebody else, and write books like somebody, and lead like somebody else. Sure, take inspiration from amazing examples. That’s fine, and that’s important. But don’t change who God made you to be. If we want to live in fullness in the world we live in, we need to be okay with being our own unique flavor, and we need to appreciate the people around us for the unique contribution they bring to the table.

Don’t let the expectations and the confinements and the categories of other people define your identity. You are you, and there is nobody else like you. Rest in the fact that God designed you to be you. Step up. Step out. Be different. Love every moment of it. And love all the amazing, beautiful, different, unique people around you the same way you hope they’ll love you.